Some People Only Dream of Angels, I have held Two! Support Natonal Grief Awareness Day August 30

[California McKay]

       No mom should ever have to bury her children!  I have buried two!

On Christmas Eve, 2008, my middle son, Ben, walked to his friends house to invite him to Christmas Eve Dinner, he never returned.

Ben was walking towards traffic, when a distracted driver, in a hurry to open Christmas presents at his grandmother's house, swung out to pass a car, hitting my precious son from behind, throwing him over 100 feet and violently killing him!

My father was diagnosed with a rare form of kidney cancer in his late 70's. In 2002, at the age of 83, he passed away, I held his hand as he took his last breathe here on earth.

My beautiful mother, who exercised everyday, and ate healthy, read everything on every can before she bought it, was shockingly diagnosed with the same exact Kidney Cancer that took my father’s life in 2002. My beautiful mom left this earth in 2011.

Three months later, my oldest son, Rick, 32, died of an accidental overdose!  He is the father of four beautiful children who will never know their father.

I can't find the words, or begin to try and explain to you in a few minutes here, or try to capsulize the horrific pain, that moves into your life, disabling you, physically and mentally when you lose a child. So I will be blunt.  Losing a child, is like having a grenade go off on your chest, but you live!  And, you walk around like that, alive, but dead, every day after.

My grief journey has fueled my desire to help grieving parents across the nation. My purpose was defined that horrific Christmas eve in 2008, when my life was shattered, everyday I wondered how? How can I go on?  How can I live in such excoriating pain?

My goal is to help a grieving parent in there own grief walk, help them find the energy to pick up the shattered pieces and find a  purpose to live again and eventually, find peace and a new hope.

My goal is to bridge the gap, between the griever and the people who love them.

We will always be sad, we will always have triggers that bring us back to that very first day, the shock, the panic, the pain, the numbness, the feeling that we have no reason to live. We can focus on the sadness, and how unfair it is that our precious child is no longer here in their physical body, or we can rejoice in the fact that they live on in our hearts and how grateful we are that God chose us to be apart of their journey on earth.

It took me a long time to be able to write this, it is not something a grieving parent can do for months or even years after their loss. Society does not understand.  You can not understand unless you walk in our shoes and we would not wish that on our worst enemy, if we had one.

I am 5+ years in my grieving process.  I have had to tell my gruesome story 1,000 times plus, before I could start to remember the good times, those times I miss so much, but am so grateful for. 

I don't like it, but I am slowly finding the beauty in the ashes. The very sad part is that I traveled this journey all by myself.  Why you ask?  Because grief makes people uncomfortable, your friends disappear, they are afraid they might say something to hurt your feelings. We already know our child died.  Give us the wonderful gift of remembering, say their name, tell us a funny story about our child. Walk with us and divide our pain, please don't run away from us, it just compounds our wounds.  Help us heal, listen to us, cry with us, pound pillows with us, pray with us, help us honor and remember our child. Give us the powerful gift of your time and presence.

Didn't we just learn that the United States was founded by people who believed in the power of democracy?

Didn't we just read that the story of the United States is the story of people who are involved in government?

Fact is everyone experiences grief sometime in their life, it is inevitable!

So what are you waiting for, here is your first opportunity to reach out and make a difference.

Angie Cartwright has been trying to get a

NATIONAL GRIEF AWARENESS DAY

She has started a petition to the President of the United States to ask for the opportunity to have a national day to educate people. 

Below is her letter to the President:

 

To:
President of the United States

National Grief Awareness Day
Dear Mr. President,
Re: National Grief Awareness Day 30th August
Grief and mourning are very important when loved ones are taken from our lives, yet so many people go through the process not knowing how to grieve and mourn, we as a society do not deal well with death, it is taboo and makes people feel uncomfortable.
For those grieving, they feel alone, isolated,...

National Grief Awareness Day
Dear Mr. President,
Re: National Grief Awareness Day 30th August
Grief and mourning are very important when loved ones are taken from our lives, yet so many people go through the process not knowing how to grieve and mourn, we as a society do not deal well with death, it is taboo and makes people feel uncomfortable.
For those grieving, they feel alone, isolated, lost and for the most part ignored by society as they battle each day in their consuming pain.
We at National Grief Awareness have walked that path of grief and loss and have identified the need to help the millions of Mothers, Fathers, Children, Wives, Husband’s, Sisters, Brothers and Grandparents who need information and support in helping them understand and realize that their grief and mourning is normal after a loss. They do not need to be fixed, they need to be heard, supported and to feel they are not alone.
We are asking for a dedicated day i.e. 30th August every year to be recognized by you and our government as a National Grief Awareness day. We ask that you support our aims to:
 Promote grieving by providing information and support to as many people as we can by providing appropriate conference event support, social media campaigns, education information etc…
 To dispel the myths, clichés and stigma associated with grieving
 To help us help others to become more aware of the needs of all those in our society who are experiencing depression, addiction, hopelessness and fear, to grieve appropriately and in their own time so that they can move forward with their lives.
We are confident that we can reach millions of people and galvanize support from a variety of sectors i.e. Health, Bereavement Support organizations, the Funeral Industry, Church, Organizations, Academics’ and communities.
“I don’t grieve just for the moment my loved one passed. I grieve the past, the future, and the now. A human being is more than just one moment in time.”
We thank you for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you..

Yours Sincerely,

__________________
Angie Cartwright
National Grief Awareness Day
Founder.

Sincerely,
[Your name]

.

[Rose Escobedo]

My heart hurts with those that grieve. I can only imagine the pain and grief of losing someone that is so close and loved as a child, or a close friend or relative. I have always been surprised at how God uses our pain for his glory. Just like taking the pain and anguish of the cross and turning it into a beautiful display of his love for us, this event in history helps me to understand how God loves and cares for us and desires us for himself.

I appreciate your work and your heart to help the grieving, I truly believe that God will honor and bless you more than you could ever think or imagine. I can only pray and hope to have the outlook God has place in you if I was asked to go through the same.

God Bless You,

Rose E.

[California McKay]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ashley-davis-bush/grief_b_1344813.html

FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BILL OF RIGHTS

Thank you Rose, the world needs more people like you, who take the time to validate our loss.

I do not know what I would have done without God first, all the glory goes straight up to him! And that outlook you mentioned, well, it did not come easy. I kicked and fought it all the way. II had to earn it.  It is the result of Thousands of tears, (still), Thousands of sleepless hours, Thousands of hopeless hours, replaced by Thousands of hours in prayer and a never ending heartache, then a light that told me I must invest this pain for good, or my child's passing would all be wasted.  It was and still is a slow and steady process. The important thing is that you did not ignore or shy away from my post, I commend you for the courage it took to reply.

This is my GRIEVERS FRIENDS AND FAMILY, BILL OF RIGHTS

1. You have the right to be curious.

     It's ok, ask, we understand, that you don't understand. We did not understand before our loss.

     But, please don't just ignore me, that means my grief and my child have no value.

2. You have the right to feel uncomfortable.

    Again, we understand, just let me know you care.

3. You have the right to sit in silence.

    There is no need for you to worry about what to say to me, your silence presence is a priceless gift.

4. You have the right to cry with me.

    Shedding tears with me divides my pain and is part of my healing process.

5. You have the right to hear my story over and over.

    In doing so you are helping me move forward in my grief journey. I need to tell my story 1,000+ times.

6. You have the right to, NOT, ask me if there is anything you can do for me.

    Nothing really makes a difference at this point, just drop in, check on me, take my other child to practice,

    please do not wait for me to ask you, because I don't want to be a burden, and I won't.

7. You have a right to help me honor my child or help me remember the gift they were in my life.

    Please send me a card on their birthday, heaven anniversary or Mother's day, it will mean more

    than the most expensive gift is the world, because it is!

[California McKay]

Luke 6:37

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

                   SUPPORT  NATIONAL GRIEF AWARENESS DAY!

[Moustapha Floyd]

Wow, can't imagine how you feel but i can relate to your pain. i was young my grandmother left Liberia (my home country) to receive treat for breast cancer in the states. She was the one person in my family who truly understood me and who knew i was only rebellious because i was hurting, she listened, prayed and cried with me. My fondest memory of her is when i was 9 or 10 and had been diagnosed with asthma; i remembered it got so bad one night that i thought i was going to die. i was having an attack, and i remember my grandmother wetting a tower and lying it on my chest just to keep my heart rate down. She was crying and praying at the same thing as i passed out; when i woke up the next day it was as if God himself had laid his hand on me because i was fine. I remember running and playing with my siblings like last night didn't happened. I was young to understand why she had to leave, and after countless attempts to get an American visa to see her so died from breast cancer in 2005. i cried the entire day when i figured it out cause my parents was afraid to tell me, i did "things" to forget the pain, and blamed my family(just cause i wanted somebody to hate). It wasn't until 2011, through dbu's IEP program that i came to the states; i visit her grave and made my peace with her death. Now i worry about my sisters and the chance that they might someday be diagnose with breast cancer. Family is the most important thing to me and I'll doing for them.

[Megan Tyson]

Grief is a funny thing that can cause people to do things they never thought they would ever do. As someone who has counseled and spoken to many different young people about issues in their lives, grief over the loss of a loved one is something that I have seen plague many, as well as myself and my family. As California said, it is important that they are remembered and talked about it a way that honors them. My cousin committed suicide at age 24 after being involved in a few accidents and being on anti-depressants for some time. Based on a note he left before committing the act, he believed he was in a dream and hoped that he'd wake up and be with us all again. When speaking about him, yes it does bring sadness, but it also brings a smile when we remember the joy that he brought into so many lives. National Grief Awareness Day would be a great way for people to talk about their loved ones and honor their memories. There are many who need help overcoming the grief of a lost loved one, this could very well be the solution!

[California McKay]

Moustapha,
Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing your Grandmother with me! Grandparents are very special people, they love us unconditionally. My grandma, was my best friend. She taught me to sew, and cook and was never too busy for me. As you know, there are no magical words, our hope is in that we will be united again. My heary goes out to you!

Megan, I am so sorry about your cousin. People commit sucide because they lose all hope and the pain is so intense they feel they have no other choice, it is an act of desperation. None of us know to what extent they have battled in the battlefield of their mind. I love how you talked about the sadness, we feel that because we loved them and then you talked about the joy he brought into your life. That is what we should remember, not the way they died, but the way they lived.. My prayer is that God blesses you both with many memories to smile about.